Last year my friends Jason and Kara adopted a little baby from Georgia. She was such a blessing. An answer to prayer. The start of an adoption revolution at our church and who knows how far reaching still... They named her Selah. She was born in December of 2007. They enjoyed 4 short months with her before she became sick (and had been the whole time as they came to discover). She had a very rare genetic disease called Pompe. It took them a few days to diagnose it after she was hospitalized. They found out they would have less than a year with her. Then, a few days later on April 25th 2008...
Selah died.
It was so devastating. My eyes still fill with tears when I think of her and them. They had such dreams and hopes for her, and everyone was in love with her. Comfort for Jason and Kara, their other 3 kids in things like songs, cards and letters, sermons, and from people who had been through similar circumstances. One of their friends had seen the blog of a gal who was carrying a baby that would not live outside her womb. Kara forwarded it to some of us. I've been following it ever since. This blog Bring the Rain has really deeply affected me. Angie Smith is the wife of Todd Smith who sings in the group called Selah. She eloquently tells her story of grief and sadness while processing her thoughts of what God has given her. As I read her blog, I listened to some of her music from her play list and discovered that I really like a lot of Selah's songs.
So (finally getting nearer to the reason of the name Upward I look), I ordered some of the CDs. One song that really struck me was a hymn called Before the Throne of God. Now, I had heard that hymn plenty of times before. But now I really understood it! It talks about our status as believers in Christ. It's really amazing that we would be able to go straight to God to tell Him our concerns and struggles. He prays for us. He loves us. He protects us. He died for us. Our names are written on his hands. And now He stands in Heaven for us.
I have a strong, a perfect plea:
A great High Priest, whose name is Love,
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on his hands,
My name is written on his heart;
I know that while in heaven he stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart
No tongue can bid me thence depart.
When Satan tempts me to despair,
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look, and see him there
Who made an end to all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died,
My sinful soul is counted free;
For God, the Just, is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me
To look on Him and pardon me
Behold him there, the risen Lamb
My perfect, spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I am,
The King of glory and of grace!
One with himself, I cannot die
My soul is purchased by his blood
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ, my Savior and my God
With Christ, my Savior and my God
The second stanza really hit home. I think the only way we can truly understand what He's done for us is by looking at ourselves and seeing what a mess we are.
We are selfish. He is self-less.
We are liars. He is truth.
We hold grudges. He forgives completely
We change. He stays the same.
We are sinful. He is perfect.
We are in distress. He's the Rescuer.
Basically we don't deserve anything good that God has given us. He is a Just God, meaning he cannot tolerate sin. He is the opposite of sin. He is truth and love. But because of that love, He has compassion on us. He made us because He wanted a real relationship with us, he could have created us to be perfect... so we never did anything wrong or never had so suffer the effects of sin. But He didn't. He lovingly gave us free will, thus letting us choose to love him back. It makes for a real relationship.
OK... back to the explanation... I am often convicted of my sin and feel unworthy of such a wonderful Friend and Savior. Recently, with the help of this song, prayer, and studying the Bible, I have been able to identify where my thoughts are coming from. I can see more clearly when something pops into my head like: "You are such a failure. You will never be a good...." or, "It doesn't matter. Why try to change it now. You know you will never be able to conquer this...." or, "Now you've really blown it! There's no hope left for you." I recognize that these thoughts are not from my gracious forgiving God in heaven who loves me, but from the scheming deceiver from hell. Then I recite that section of the song... When Satan tempts me to despair and tells me of the guilt within, upward I look and see Him there, who made an end to all my sin. Because the Sinless Savior died, my sinful soul is counted free. For God the Just is satisfied to look on Him and pardon me.
Whoa! Don't miss it! We were sinful and He wasn't, yet He died in our place. Man this is Grace! (God's Riches At Christ's Expense). I'm mostly chronicling this for my kids, but if you are reading this and think "What a nutcase!" (And I'm actually impressed you got this far!) Please let me tell you that it is real. You can choose to reject it. That's how much God loves you. He gave you free will to make a choice for yourself. But I've heard story after story, even very recently, how people felt the same way as you and thought they would just have to leave their fun sin behind for a boring life of rules. Then, God revealed Himself to them and they realized that there is no sin more fun or exciting than the fun and excitement of following a personal God who holds time in His hands, knows how many hairs are on your head, and took the blame for everything bad you've ever done or ever will do.
He's real and He is Love!
I am definitely not perfect. I make so many mistakes. But the more I learn about Christ, the more convinced I am that I am His child and that he loves me and has forgiven me completely. For this reason I love Him and seek to glorify Him in what I do. And even when I fail, there remains forgiveness and grace...
My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross,
And I bear it no more.
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, oh my soul!
That is freedom!
Jesus said, "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." John 8 36.
Looking up,
Becky
1 comment:
I love you dear friend...
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