The Waves Are Turning Into Ripples

The first year and a half of Diabetes were hard.

The waves were big, though I know they could have been bigger. I've already written about those things... If you want to read about all of them just click on the Type 1 Diabetes link at the bottom.

The interesting thing is that I have been pretty good (not crying or feeling super sad) for a couple of months now. Before, it was maybe every few weeks or month. It seems like Kaiah is doing well with the pump insertions the finger pokes and I (Cliff seems pretty good most of the time actually) am doing fine with the estimations and food calculations. I don't get overwhelmed in the Winco bulk food aisles anymore, and we are getting better at making the experience more "normal" for her.

The pump is helping so much with that. We all love it. I'm really thankful that Kaiah doesn't seem to care that it is hanging off of her pants/skirts at all times. She doesn't even try to hide it at all yet. The pump makes it easy to give her seconds at potlucks or desserts an hour after dinner. We don't have to have things perfectly timed with a narrow window of carbohydrates anymore either. These last few months are the MOST normal she has been post-Type 1 Diabetes. The spontaneity is back! :)

But today I did have a tiny little ripple. I didn't cry. I just "misted." :) The UPS guy pulled up with a package marked "urgent" and I had to sign for it. It was a recall for a piece of Kaiah's insulin pump equipment. It showed the lot numbers that were affected and asked us to immediately check the boxes in our supply for the matching numbers. Then it went on to explain what could happen if we had the affected cartridges. Extreme lows (or highs) from leaking of insulin due to improper delivery was the main problem. Fortunately Kaiah can feel when she's going low so we don't have to worry too much, but as I was checking the lot numbers on our boxes, I felt that wave (ripple really) of sadness...

This disease isn't going away anytime soon:

• She still has to have that pump hanging from her pants, pulling them down in the front and exposing her underwear at times...
• The tubing will still occasionally get caught on handles or bedposts and pull the insertion site out.
  
• Her fingers and tummy will become filled with more and more tiny holes making scarred tissue.
• And while I am so thankful that we have this pump and that it can do so many fun things, today reminded me that much of the process is still out of our control.
• Faulty equipment can be sent to us and we won't know it.

God knows though and I do truly believe that nothing will happen apart from his knowledge and approval. He loves her. He loves us. And we will just have to do the best that we can with what is available to us right now.... which is so much more that was available even 20 years ago.

And so we plod on... with a disease that can be draining at times. Thankfully the burdens of Type 1 Diabetes are becoming more manageable and "normal" to us. Hopefully as we continue on, we can be more of an encouragement to people who are in the big wave phase.